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Thursday, September 2, 2010

What Wives Want More Than Sex

woman reading in bed Although they insist their sex lives are just fine, thank you very much, it turns out that most married women would rather spend those quiet minutes late at night doing anything but having sex with their husband.

Instead of nookie, they want to read, watch a movie or even sleep, according to an iVillage survey of 2,000 wives ages 18 to 49.

Here are the startling results from the iVillage survey:

• Fully 77 percent of married women reported being somewhat to extremely happy with their sex life, but 63 percent confessed they would rather sleep, watch a movie or read than have sex with their husband.

• Of all age groups, women in their 20s are most satisfied with their sex lives.

• 48 percent rate their husband as the best sex partner of their life.

• 62 percent confessed they fantasize about having sex with someone other than their husband.

• 81 percent rated their sex lives as predictable in some way, such as having sex the same night of the week, in the same position or in the same room of the house. However, this predictability, which was especially true among mothers of two or more children, did not affect women's happiness with their sex lives.

• In the past seven days, 58 percent of the married women surveyed said they were in the mood for sex.

• One in seven women reports trying something new in bed as recently as last week, while 37 percent have experimented under the covers in the past year. Women ages 18 to 29 are the most likely to test out a new technique, with 27 percent disclosing they've recently tried something they've never done before.

• 23 percent of women reported having sex one to three times a month, while 21 percent say they have sex more than 10 times a month.

• 9 percent reported not having sex at all in the past year.

• 10 percent of women admitted they have had a sexual affair.

Ian Kerner, therapist and author of "Love in a Time of Colic," said on CBS's "The Early Show," "First of all, I want to say I'm a dad, I have two kids. And a lot of men out there would also prefer sleep or books. But on the serious side, I kind of look at this as sort of bad news. You may say you're happy with your sex life, but in the end, if night after night you're consistently picking a book, TV, Facebook, digital networking, any distraction that's out there over intimacy with your partner, in the long run, your relationship could become vulnerable to things like infidelity. So you have to put sex at the center of your relationship."

And while Kerner admitted it's normal to want to do something other than have sex, he also said it's a bit lazy. "I think your sex life is sort of like going to the gym. You got to get back into the routine, and it's a little hard at the beginning, but once you do it, it's like try it, you'll like it. You'll want to keep going to the gym." And you'll want to keep having sex! Source

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